Monday, February 15, 2010

Thank goodness i have this blog to vent on. I don't think anyone is reading, its been forever since I've posted, and it is a blog for ME. I am so incredibly frustrated right now. My ex-husband has gotten me riled up. I just don't understand why, after being such a controlling monster who put me through hell by hiding his addiciton to pornography, he still feels I was not justified in leaving. And has, at least in my mind, made it his mission to make sure I can't move on with my life. He has pushed me to the point where I am afraid to do anything without fearing the consequences that he,"Mr. Innocent" feels is justified. What did he expect me to do?  Put up with explosive anger? Just be ok with the fact that HE would sign MY name on the back of checks and deposit them into HIS personal account then tell me all I needed to do is ask for the money if I wanted any? Wait for the next time he "...set up an out of town trip. I already set up a rental car and for my dad to watch the kids" episode? What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to do? Was I supposed to be a "good wife" and turn a blind eye to what he did and pretend like all was well in the world? now I am having to listen to my kids tell me how his girlfriend (now fiencee I guess whom he has only been with for a few months and whom I know absolutely NOTHING about) is telling them how she's "going to be your step-mommy" while I have to deal with the consequenses of a second call to children's services made by a jelous ex who didn't like the fact that I didn't want to let him take the kids out of the country with his then girlfriend (who he is no longer with may I add) AAARRRGGGGG!!!!!!!  Sometimes I just don't know what to do. I know deep down inside I did the right thing because for the most part I am 1000 times happier than I was when I was trapped in a miserable marriage with him.  I guess I just keep moving foreward doing the best I can do. I know that someday the truth will be exposed and things will work out, I just need to keep my chin up and do what is right, do what I need to do.

Monday, March 17, 2008

My thought for today...

There was a bit of a flurry of comment activity on one of the quilting blogs I like to visit. There was an issue with ebay, but I digress because that is not what got me going. (OK it did, but that's not what I'm wanting to post about today) There was an anonymous comment left that, although not nasty, was kind of rude in its own way. Now the profile of this blogger states that they don't always use the cleanest language, and its the blogger's language that set off this commenter. To which I want to say "Hello? You were warned in the profile, you looked at the comments and I'm sorry you were offended, but as they would say about T.V., just 'change the channel'." You don't have to visit a blog, and you don't have to read and/or leave a comment. If you are upset by someone's language do you really have to leave a comment? Just move on. I guess the other reason this go me going is because I am a Christian and I have the funny feeling that the person that left the comment would probably consider themselves one too. Now, I don't agree with using foul language, I really try not to ever use it myself, but I know I have let a word slip every once in a while. I think lots of us have. Does that make me a bad person? Does that make me less of a believer? No. Do I think I should not visit that blog. No. Jesus himself did not come to save the saved. He came to those who were lost. You do not reach the lost by scolding them and then walking away. There are plenty of things that are done that I do not agree with, and I will let people know when I don't agree with the way they live or act, but I think you can disagree with someone and still respect them as a person. God does not want to see anyone lost. Everyone deserves respect as one of His creations, weather you agree with their lifestyle is something else. There are plenty of 'Christian' men and women who have problems. Case in point, look up the statistics of porn use among men who in the church. Should we just turn our backs on all of them (or the 54% of pastors that say they have viewed porn, check out the Blazing Grace web site's porn statistics page). No. I guess I just get upset at people who want to stand and condemn someone for their actions. Let those without sin cast the first stone. And if you are able to cast that stone (I know I surely can't) I really feel for you. The burden of perfection must weigh very heavily on your shoulders. Sorry for the rant, but sometimes things just get to me.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Blizzard of 2008

And its still coming down. 'Nuff said.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Thinking of warmer weather

This is a picture I took at Salt Fork State Park in Ohio last fall. I know it doesn't look much like fall in the picture, but it was taken in mid-October. And it was pretty darn warm that day too. Here we are in March and we are expected to get about a foot of snow. In March. Sometimes I start to wonder what happened to the seasons. I remember when I was little things seemed different. The leaves were starting to change color when school was starting. I remember trick or treating in snow. There was almost always snow around Thanksgiving. And Christmas? There would be mounds of white fluffiness to build snowmen with or go sled riding on. Now? I remember going running on Christmas Eve day a couple years ago in sweatpants and a t-shirt! By March it seemed to me we had plenty of daffodils and crocuses around and spring was definitely in the air. Now I don't know if I necessarily believe in the global warming thing, but you do have to wonder about how the seasons have seemed to have shifted. When I was little a huge snow storm in March was a rare occurrence. As a matter of fact I believe a freak snowstorm in March hastened the arrival of my baby brother. He's going to be 25. But I'm also old enough to remember back in the day they talked about a second ice age. Oh, who knows? If nothing else weather oddities will always be something of interest and something to get me thinking. Nothing wrong with that :cD

Thursday, March 6, 2008

frail yet strong

This is a picture I took this morning while out for a walk. This is the aftermath of an ice storm we recently experienced. This is part of a thicket (if you will) in one of my neighbor's yards. I think it is just beautiful. I tried to get pictures of the trees, but they just didn't turn out as well. Goes back to that practice thing. I really wish I could have gotten a picture though. There is part of my drive to work where there are trees on both sides of the road. It was so stunning, like driving through a crystal forest. All this ice caused a lot of problems in the way of power outages and downed trees though. It made me think how something like ice, which is can be so easily shattered and fragile, can be so strong as to pull down such strong things as the power lines and branches of century old trees. It gets me thinking on the cause and effect that things in nature have on each other. Now not that I want to see lots of ice storms, but I am glad we had one for the sheer fact that it gave us both something beautiful to look at, and something to think about. Gotta love that :cD

Getting started

I have started this blog as a place for me. I wanted someplace where I could just post my thoughts about the world around me. Now I am no photographer, but every once in a while something captures my attention and I happen to take the right picture. I am getting into the habit of carrying my camera with me in the hopes that practice will make perfect. As each day passes I realize there is so much to see that we can sometimes just pass by without a second thought. I also try to make observations of the things around me, and those things can set my mind to ramble. So here you will find me, my pictures and my thoughts.