Thank goodness i have this blog to vent on. I don't think anyone is reading, its been forever since I've posted, and it is a blog for ME. I am so incredibly frustrated right now. My ex-husband has gotten me riled up. I just don't understand why, after being such a controlling monster who put me through hell by hiding his addiciton to pornography, he still feels I was not justified in leaving. And has, at least in my mind, made it his mission to make sure I can't move on with my life. He has pushed me to the point where I am afraid to do anything without fearing the consequences that he,"Mr. Innocent" feels is justified. What did he expect me to do?  Put up with explosive anger? Just be ok with the fact that HE would sign MY name on the back of checks and deposit them into HIS personal account then tell me all I needed to do is ask for the money if I wanted any? Wait for the next time he "...set up an out of town trip. I already set up a rental car and for my dad to watch the kids" episode? What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to do? Was I supposed to be a "good wife" and turn a blind eye to what he did and pretend like all was well in the world? now I am having to listen to my kids tell me how his girlfriend (now fiencee I guess whom he has only been with for a few months and whom I know absolutely NOTHING about) is telling them how she's "going to be your step-mommy" while I have to deal with the consequenses of a second call to children's services made by a jelous ex who didn't like the fact that I didn't want to let him take the kids out of the country with his then girlfriend (who he is no longer with may I add) AAARRRGGGGG!!!!!!!  Sometimes I just don't know what to do. I know deep down inside I did the right thing because for the most part I am 1000 times happier than I was when I was trapped in a miserable marriage with him.  I guess I just keep moving foreward doing the best I can do. I know that someday the truth will be exposed and things will work out, I just need to keep my chin up and do what is right, do what I need to do.